I will not bow
by UndeadFae
Summary: Manyuuji is being threatened by the new Aliea's team, Epsilon. The Raimon tries to help despite their refusal to fight. Atsuya is tired of people minding his business and trying to help.


Wheezes

finally a second part, I can't believe I managed to finish this

My pea sized brain couldn't remember anything from the Manyuuji eps except Desarm and I had to go back and rewatch like 3 times to know what I was actually writing

I tried my best have mercy and maybe leave a comment if you like it?

* * *

Atsuya refused to admit it, but trip to kick some alien's ass aside, it was nice to explore the country after being stuck in Hokkaido his whole life. Besides, taking the window seat to watch the scenery annoyed Someoka to no end, always claiming that that was his seat and having to be held back before they could go from words to fists like the first time- no one wanted a repeat of that. He knew Shirou didn't approve, but he also knew Shirou had to try very hard to hold back a laughter.

Atsuya didn't say that watching outside the window was a good distraction from how wrong it felt to have the seat next to him occupied by someone else.

* * *

Kyoto is a nice place, quiet and relaxed. Going sight seeing as soon as they arrived quickly became a nice excuse to try and get things off his mind. And to stay away from the team when they were too obnoxious for him. He's always been more of a lone wolf anyways. Shirou doesn't like seeing him so stubbornly isolating himself, alwaus scolding him for it, but Atsuya refused to listen- he does have friends and they're all back at Hakuren, he doesn't need any more, right?

Shirou was still disagreeing with him. Atsuya didn't answer.

* * *

On second thought, Kyoto might be a bit too relaxed if the Manyuuji's attitude towards the oncoming attack was anything to go by. If that was how they reacted to someone threatening them, Atsuya really wasn't surprised that their mischievous teammate still behaved that way. Honestly, why they couldn't understand that the aliens couldn't be reasoned with unless you were actively kicking their asses was beyond him.

Hoping that their coach would be of any help proved to be just as useless as trying to talk some sense into the team. The old man was just as stubborn as his team, quickly shutting off all their claims and not listening to their counter-arguments, fully trusting his team's decision even when it was, in Atsuya's opinion, really fucking stupid and nearly suicidal.

"Tch. This is just a waste of time." Atsuya was really running out of patience, not bothering to keep his leg still anymore, restlessly bouncing it from his cross-legged position. Someone glared at him -probably Someoka-, but he could hardly care by now, he was tired of sitting around and doing nothing. "Don't know why we even bothered to come." The old coach looked at him, his expression calm and unwavering, yet for a moment Atsuya felt like he was looking at his very soul. It unnerved him.

"Your heart carries a heavy burden, doesn't it? Such a great grief for someone so young..."

In any other situation, Someoka would've laughed after finally finding someone capable of shutting up the obnoxious kid. Looking at his wide eyes and expression frozen in what could only be described as sheer terror, however, even he couldn't help but feel bad for him.

"S-shut up! It's none of your damn business!" Before anyone could tell him to apologize or call him out for being so rude, he turned and ran, ignoring the rest of the team calling his name and not stopping until he was out of sight.

"I'm so sorry about that!" Endou was quick to bow to the old coach. "Atsuya-"

"There is nothing to ask forgiveness for." It's surprising how calm and collected the man could stay after such an outburst. "I can see that he's so aggressive to protect himself, he has to find peace for his troubled heart."

"... I see..." There went another little thing to add to the list of weird and slightly concerning things about Atsuya- which was starting to look not so slightly concerning in Endou's eyes with the way it was growing.

In the end, all Endou could do was hope Atsuya would be fine.

* * *

"I know it wasn't right- you don't have to lecture me, alright?" The voice almost shouting is what first caught Kogure's attention, leading him to one of the many isolated spots of the school he knows by heart. Then, he noticed the bright yellow and blue jersey, followed by a soft, white scarf. He was mindlessly kicking a ball against the wall -with a bit too much strength if the flakes of aged paint falling off the wall were anything to go by-, catching it when it bounced back and repeating the process. "I won't apologize- I don't care who the old man is, that wasn't his damn business, alright? He shouldn't have said anything." As much as he looked around, there was no one else there, no one the unknown kid could be talking to. Kogure quickly concluded that the kid in front of him is either weird or plain crazy. Maybe both.

"Are you talking to yourself?" The only hint that someone suddenly talking to him might've startled him was how off course his shot was, the ball lost somewhere in the bushes. His head snapped in Kogure's direction, a burning glare in his cold eyes that sent shivers down his spine and almost made him regret speaking up.

"Feel like trying this thing called 'mind your own business'?" He went to search for the lost ball, ignoring the way Kogure stuck his tongue out at him.

"You're weird, you know? Are you crazy?" He expected the kid to get pissed off, to lash out and even try to hit him or push him away. He didn't expect the humorless chuckle, bitter and cold and so angry at something he couldn't name.

"Wouldn't be the first time I've heard that." Maybe Kogure was just imagining things, but there seemed to be something painful underlining his words. He must've been overthinking. At least he hoped so. "So, do you have a name or do I have to keep calling you midget in my mind?"

"Hey!" He pouted, but that only worked to amuse the weird kid. "I'm Kogure Yuuya! Don't go thinking you can forget it!" He raised an eyebrow at the childish outburst, completely unimpressed.

"Alright, Kogure, whatever you say." Ball found, he balanced it on his knee, juggling it for a moment before going back to aggressively kicking it at the wall. Kogure made himself comfortable on the ground and watched. He wasn't stranger to lonely hours spent training alone, but this kid didn't look like he had to do that too, his team seemed to want him around at least.

"Shouldn't you be with the rest of your team?"

"Don't get the wrong idea- I'm with them for now, but the Raimon isn't my team, they just need my help for a while and then I'll be back to Hokkaido with my real team." The next kick was stronger than before, his frown twisting into a very pissed off scowl. "Besides they're probably still talking to that old man and like hell I'll crawl back to them now and apologize like they'll ask me to do."

"What did the coach do?" The ball hit the wall with enough strength to leave cracks in it.

"He was talking about something that isn't his damn business- and it's not yours either, don't even think about asking." His words sounded more like a growl. Sore topic. Kogure made a mental note to not ask about it again- he was fairly sure this kid wouldn't hesitate to punch him or something, unlike his own team. "Shouldn't you be training or something instead of trying to interrogate me?" Looks like it was his own turn to get angry. And so Kogure frowned- though it looked more like a pout, honestly.

"They don't let me practice with the team because they're jerks and they hate me, I know they do!"

"Sucks to be you then." Despite his words, he didn't sound like he was trying to mock him or offend him, he was just stating a fact. For a moment, he looked lost in thought, to then shrug and lightly kick the ball towards Kogure. "All yours then."

Somehow, Kogure had a feeling he wasn't talking to him.

"Do you have a name or do I have to keep calling you crazy kid?" Now there was something different to his smile that Kogure couldn't name no matter how hard he tried, something that sent shivers down his spine and made him feel in danger despite the sudden and unusual gentleness it held.

"Fubuki Atsuya." Somehow, it sounded bitter, fake like a practiced lie slipping out on instinct with a startling ease. Kogure had to wonder if someone's name could sound like a lie.

* * *

When Kogure finally got tired of kicking around the ball and trying to keep up with him, leaving to prepare who knows what kind of god forsaken prank, Atsuya had finally calmed down enough to take over without feeling the need to bite someone's head off and headed back to the school to find the rest of the team.

"Atsuya!" Unsurprisingly, Endou was the first to notice he was back. "Where did you go? You missed lunch!" He blinked, looking up at the sky- now that he thought about it, the sun was already well on its way to set.

"Uh. Guess I lost track of time again..." Old habits die hard. "It's fine, it's not the first time I skip a meal, I'll live." Endou just looked more concerned hearing that, while the rest of the team looked at him in a mix of worry and bafflement.

In the end, despite all his protests that he's fine and they're just worrying too much were ignored, the team forcing him to sit on the bench and eat at least a rice ball before dinner just to make sure he wouldn't pass out on them, stubbornly refusing to take a no for an answer. It didn't help that Shirou agreed with them.

At least no one was bringing up his outburst or asking for an apology.

"What were you doing all this time anyways?"

"Just kicking a ball around." He answered between chews. "Then I played around with the Manyuuji brat for a few hours."

"The Manyuuji... you mean Kogure?"

"Right, him." He paused for a moment, a thoughtful frown on his face. "... He's not half bad- though he looks like he only knows the basics of soccer." Hearing his words, something changed in Otonashi's eyes, like someone that was trying to figure out some kind of mystery, sharp and calculating and for a moment she looked so much like Kidou thinking it was almost scary. Without saying anything, she stood up from the bench and quickly left. Well, that was weird.

* * *

When the Epsilon finally arrived, as much as Atsuya was itching for a good fight, he held back from saying anything, quietly glaring from his spot with the team as they watched. He could feel something dangerous in the air, his instincts screaming at him that something was wrong. Standing by and just watching as the Manyuuji team was completely destroyed in a horribly one-sided match didn't help. Shirou didn't like it any more than him, his uneasiness and concern managing to unsettle Atsuya. He hated to admit it, but it was looking like a tough fight. Shirou was just growing more and more worried for him.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be careful." His words did little to calm down Shirou's concerns. If someone noticed him apparently talking to himself, they didn't pay him any mind.

Before their silent exchange could continue, Endou challenged the Epsilon right as they were about to destroy the school. Atsuya scowled and walked into the pitch with the team. Shirou was quiet, but he could still feel all of his worry. They didn't say anything else, and the whistle quickly signaled the start of the match.

* * *

It took too damn long to get past the annoying aliens, but he did it, it was finally his chance to score.

"Eternal blizzard!" The shot flew towards the keeper with all its strength. Desarm just lifted his arms. He stumbled and almost fell, feet digging into the dirt as the shot pushed him backwards, but he stopped it. He stopped the Eternal blizzard.

Atsuya froze, mind suddenly numb, any word he tried to say dying in his throat.

Then, he saw red. The bastard that stopped his strongest shot without even using a hissatsu just taunted him, not even flinching at his snappy answer, as if he was dealing with a small and harmless puppy.

Shirou tried to tell him to breathe. He refused to calm down and just let this slide.

It didn't matter how hard he tried, how much he threw himself in the way and attempted to score that much needed goal, how many times he fell and stood back up only to be put down once again. All his efforts were useless, he was left in the dirt catching his breath as his body ached from countless bruises and scrapes.

When Desarm boldly declared the match over and challenged them, dared them to even try and become strong enough to face the Epsilon, Atsuya's fists clutched the strands of grass so tightly his knuckles turned white, shaking with raw rage as he stood up once again. That last shot from the enemy's goal was the last straw, he wasn't thinking anymore, screaming all of his anger, frustration and powerlessness as he rushed towards the oncoming ball with all the strength he had left, Shirou's frantic warnings completely ignored.

The strength of the shot was enough to send him flying before he even touched it, painfully landing on the ground and for once, he didn't stand up right away, his exhausted body finally giving up, the adrenaline of the moment subsiding and the fog in his mind clearing just enough to hear his worried brother.

Once the Epsilon was gone, Atsuya was the first to leave, just walking away without saying a word, his face twisted into sheer fury. No one tried to stop him.

At first, everything was quiet. Shirou wasn't saying anything and Atsuya didn't try to break the silence, ust aimlessly walking and hoping the fresh air of the afternoon could calm him down at least a little. It wasn't the same as the bitter cold of the snow that numbed your limbs and soul, but it would have to do. He had gotten far away enough from the Manyuuji's grounds that he could've easily let his pent up anger out, kicking and screaming until his throat was raw and only the haunting feeling of emptiness was left. He just collapsed on the grass, laying there in silence, gaze lost in the sky.

He was too tired to even try and cry.

It was a peaceful afternoon, clouds lazily drifting in the sky, the gentle breeze ruffling his hair and the sunlight peeking through the leaves of the trees. It did little to help with the turmoil festering in his soul like an illness.

When he felt like Atsuya was calm enough to listen without blowing up, Shirou finally dared to speak up.

"It's not your fault."

Atsuya didn't say anything at first, a cold and humorless chuckle filling the air, dying down quickly.

"I failed. They were counting on me and I failed- you saw it, that asshole stopped my blizzard so easily and I couldn't even get close enough to try and shoot again. I was fucking useless and you know it." It's just a fact, but there's no missing the bitterness in his voice.

For a little while, Shirou is quiet.

"They were just stronger than what we expected, that's not your fault, you know? Don't be so hard on yourself." Of course Shirou would still try to be so unbelievably nice and change his mind. Atsuya quietly huffed, annoyingly picking at the grass. Even with his kind personality, Shirou could so easily rival his stubbornness.

"I still let everyone down, stronger enemies or not." It was just a fact, one he wouldn't forget so easily. "I have to be stronger next time. I have to be perfect." Shirou already knew what was about to come, how Atsuya would push himself well past his limits. He didn't like it, but there was little he could do to stop him.

"We'll train together then. There's nothing we can't handle if we're together, right?" He could still support him, help him when no one else understood. As long as they had each others, everything would be ok. Shirou really hoped so.

"Right... you're right..." For once, Atsuya didn't sound so sure.

The rest of the afternoon was quiet.

* * *

When Atsuya finally decided to head back to the school, it was already late at night, a few stars littering the dark sky and surrounding the moon. It was a pretty sight, but it couldn't compare to the view from the northern ridge, where he could clearly see and name all the constellations and lone stars shining with an otherworldly beauty. He didn't want to admit it, but he missed that place, even when it always made his heart ache a little more.

Trying to shove those thoughts away, Atsuya walked into the caravan. As expected, the whole team was fast asleep, and he wasn't too keen on waking anyone up and letting them know he was back. Carefully sneaking back to his seat, he spotted something sitting on it while he looked for his sleeping bag. A couple of rice balls wrapped in plastic, a water bottle and a napkin. He blinked, for once taken aback. He had stormed off and disappeared without a word, not even bothering to show up for dinner or night time, they couldn't know if he had eaten anything while he was away... and yet they still left him something, even when his less than pleasant attitude would've pushed anyone else away without sparing him a second thought.

He would forever deny the tiny smile on his face as he quietly scarfed down the food and emptied the bottle, his hungry stomach that he was still trying to ignore finally calming down. Shirou reminded him to thank them in the morning for the food.

When he went to sleep, he let the exhaustion of such a long and awful day take over. It was an empty and dreamless night.

Tomorrow is another day, right?


End file.
